The silent battle of special needs and medical care

Most people are aware of the constant battle for advocacy in the educational system when it comes to special needs. But there is another looming battle that special needs families face on a daily basis-medical care. Medical discrimination is real. It is something we personally deal with on a regular basis with Luke. I have many personal stories I could tell about Luke. But it is not just us. Hear me: Individuals with autism and/or other special needs are much more likely to experience medical discrimination.

I was reminded of this again this morning thanks to FB Memories. Two years ago,  we went to Duke to see pediatric ophthalmology for Luke's newly developed lazy eye. We waited 3 HOURS before we even got placed in an exam room. When the doctor finally did come in, she spent 5 MINUTES with us. I explained that the onset of his lazy eye had occurred a few months earlier and I would like to know how to treat it. Did he need to wear a patch? What would be the course of action? She said that nothing needed to be done. I told her that I would like it treated-Luke didn't look this way before.  I left furious. Although she apologized for the long wait, that doesn't make up for the 90 minute drive there, more than 3 hour wait, 5 minute visit with no resolution, and a 90 minute drive back home. If I had brought in a verbal, pretty little girl, do you think she would have come up with a treatment plan for her? I do. I believe that because my son had special needs and was non-verbal, he wasn't provided adequate medical care.

Or what about the time I took Luke to the Emergency Department because I was sure he had C. diff. Clostridioides difficile (also known as C. diff) is a bacterium that causes diarrhea and colitis (an inflammation of the colon). The resident told me it was just a virus and I was just an overly worried mother. It took me another week before he was diagnosed and received treatment because I had to go through the process of getting  a stool test ordered by the pediatrician and all the steps of having sample evaluated. Not only am I also a medical professional, but I am a mother who knows my son. Respect the input of caretakers.

Luke's medical symptoms often get dismissed as "it's just autism". This is just WRONG. Because he cannot verbalize or pinpoint what is wrong, most of the time he is not even given an adequate exam. Unfortunately, there is a  lack of the standard of care for individuals with autism. Did you know that individuals with autism spectrum disorders have a higher comorbidity burden than the general pediatric population, including higher rates of seizures, psychiatric illness, and gastrointestinal disorder? .And yet, these comorbidities are not often addressed. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE.

Similar to the school system, when a child is medically complex and doesn't fit in one or two boxes, providers often do not know what to do with them. Parents are left exasperated. And the children's needs are not adequately cared for. Luke has been passed over by medical programs at several medical institutions in multiple states because of this very bias. Luke has multiple diagnoses: deafness, autism, Usher Syndrome, PANDAS, as well as mitochondrial, metabolic, and immune dysfunction. And he is nonverbal. He is not less of a human. He deserves appropriate medical care. And we are not alone. I could share additional personal stories as well as story after story of others who experience this bias.  THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE. 

The purpose of this post is to educate others- those who know nothing of the battle we fight, and those parents who are in the midst of this very battle themselves. Awareness is the first step to addressing a problem. We must all do our part to give these families a voice to receive appropriate medical care for their loved ones.

** I am thankful to share that Luke is currently under the primary care of a wonderful, attentive pediatrician and neurologist who are addressing his medical needs.**

Be BOLD,
Jo Anna

Would you commit to pray for Luke for 7 days?

Luke’s IVIG infusions are scheduled for this coming Friday and Saturday.

Would you commit to pray for Luke for 7 days?

Sun 11/10: For PEACE in our home

Mon 11/11: For Luke’s anxiety and fear to be minimal during the infusions

Tues 11/12: For Luke to be compliant and do what is asked of him during infusions and for him to not rip IV out.

Wed 11/13: For Luke to show no aggression or violence

Thur 11/14: For an important IEP meeting for Luke at school and telephone appointment with Luke’s neurologist.

Friday 11/15: For the 2 nurses who will be here administrating the medication.

Sat 11/16: For minimal side effects and for the infusions to be successful in treating Luke’s condition.

To read more about Luke's story or to share or donate, click here Luke's GoFundMe

PANS/PANDAS Awareness Day-October 9th

On PANS/PANDAS Awareness Day, I thought I would throw out some numbers-Luke's numbers.
Since the onset of his symptoms in March 2018, Luke has seen the following doctors due to infections or symptoms of the disorder:
2 Pediatricians
3 Neurologists
1 Cardiologist
1 Urologist
1 Physician specializing in Autism
1 Psychiatrist
1 ENT Physician
1 Audiologist
1 Dermatologist
1 Allergy Specialist


That's 13 Different Doctors in 3 states in 18 months. His medical file his been reviewed by The University of Arizona and Duke University. Luke's pediatrician and I believe that both organizations dismissed Luke because of his unusual history and various, additional special needs.

During this time, Luke has suffered from numerous strep infections, ear infections, sinus infections, two confirmed cases of the flu, skin infections, and viral infections. He had one observed grand mal seizure in August 2019. His condition has waxed and waned, but he has continued to deteriorate more and more as time goes by.

Luke has had more than 120 lab tests run in the last eighteen months, primarily blood tests, but also flu and strep swabs, urine cultures, stool tests, plus an EEG and CT scan. Think on that for a moment. 

It first started out with the appearance of physical and vocal tics, as well as unexplained crying/kicking/screaming outbursts. However, during the last 18 months, Luke has experienced all of the symptoms (in some way or another) on this list, including: handwriting changes, sensitivity to light and sound, tics, anorexia, obsessions, hyperactivity, irritability, behavioral regression, urinary incontinence, aggression/rage, anxiety, and more.

This condition is believed to affect approximately 1 in 200 children. I continue to share our family's story because I believe that Awareness=Diagnosis=Treatment.
Our kids at least deserve this much.

We are thankful for the opportunity to be evaluated by The Mayo Clinic in the near future. And we are humbled by those who have continued to pray for our family and for those who have donated to Luke's medical care. It truly takes a village and this journey is not yet over.

If you would like to read more about Luke's journey or to donate, please click here: Luke's story

Update on Luke; IVIG arrived today

 Scott and I were very reluctant to verbalize our need for possible fear of judgement or fallout . Our journey has been so unexpected and challenging. Rachael has asked us for months to be humble and share our family's story. 

With that being said, the update below was written by our oldest daughter Rachael: For the past year and a half, my nine-year-old brother, Luke, has been suffering from a neuro-immune condition. His dysfunctional immune system has resulted in frequent viruses and infections as well as psychiatric symptoms such as violent behavior towards himself and others, extreme OCD tendencies, and abrupt motor or vocal tics. He has deteriorated during this time and recently experienced a gran mal seizure at home. Luke is internationally adopted, nonverbal, deaf (he has the assistance of cochlear implants) and was diagnosed with autism at age three. He is also suspected to have Type I Ushers Syndrome which causes blindness in early adulthood.


Prior to this illness, Luke was potty trained, used some sign language, understood a good bit receptively by hearing, and could do kindergarten level reading and math. He was a joyful child who loved life! Thanks to a wonderful interpreter and multiple private therapies, Luke was able to reach goals that no one thought he could reach, and his future was bright!
All of that progress began to deteriorate when Luke fell sick. Our family, a household of six, searched out treatment with conventional medicine (multiple specialists in and out of state, bloodwork, tests, and prescriptions) as well as functional medicine (natural methods including essential oils, diet/medicinal foods, and supplements). Nothing seems to make a lasting difference, especially with the violence. Hitting, kicking, scratching, biting, and throwing objects are now a part of our daily life. Over the last six months, Luke has broken our TV, kitchen window, several toilet seats and we have holes in the walls. Mom is also living proof of the violence with scars and scratches evident on her arms. The financial toll of all of this is overwhelming.


From January to May, Luke had medical appts in three states. My parents spent over $5,000 out of pocket on Luke’s medical care during this time. Since June, Luke has been to the emergency department three times, had one ambulance ride, was placed under general anesthesia twice for tests, and has seen multiple providers in two states and had a chart review by Duke and the University of Arizona. The bills are beginning to come in and are estimated to be at least another $5,000.


We want the Luke we know and love back! The next step of treatment is IVIG infusion via home health nursing. Intravenous Immunoglobulin Therapy gives you antibodies that your body can’t make on its own. Due to its high of manufacturing and administering the product, IVIG is an expensive therapy. The total cost of IVIG therapy ranges from $5000 to $10,000, depending on the patient's weight and number of infusions per course. Our insurance recently approved Luke’s appeal but our estimated costs will be a minimum of $1800.


Both of my parents are hardworking; my dad works full-time, and my mom works part-time; even with the chronic medical conditions they too face like Type I Diabetes and Degenerative Disk Disease/Chronic Systemic Inflammation. My dad had two surgeries last year and was out of work for four months recuperating. Any costs mentioned do not include the other five family members. I’m currently in college and next year there will be two of us in college. Assistance such as Medicaid takes years on the waitlist. Luke has been on the waitlist for over five years and has an estimated five more years to wait. My family does not qualify for other kinds of assistance.

Please consider helping us support Luke’s medical treatment needed in the coming months. Any donation amount will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and sharing our cause!

Click on the link below:
Luke's GoFundMe

Observations and lessons learned while traveling with a child with special needs

We had a quick trip to Cleveland-less than 48 hours round trip! We like our new provider, he is brilliant. Our appointment lasted about 4 hours. We have a plan in place. We have a myriad of lab tests ordered that once the results are back, will further help to guide us. Here are some nuggets I have gleaned from our trip:

1. Prayer works. I don’t mean like a genie who grants me a wish. God hears our prayers and the prayers of others on behalf of us. Our first travel day-Monday-went smoothly and I give that credit to God for answering prayer. It’s okay to ask for intercession from others! Thankful for my community of prayer warriors.

2. Special needs families live in a totally different way than “typical” families. The planning is intense. We are always hypervigilant and on high alert, attending to our child’s needs and proactively trying to intervene before things go awry. Structure and planning help things to go more smoothly.

3. There are still genuinely nice people in the world. A kind and compassionate mom we didn’t know showed me kindness on two returning flights. Luke was really struggling and I was receiving the brunt of it. To actually be SEEN and not judged was a gift. We need more people like her in the world.

4. Roll with the punches and keep your sense of humor. Be as flexible as possible. Our challenges to get through security in Cleveland was truly comical. First time I’ve ever been patted down by a female officer! Evidently, my insulin pump and Luke’s cochlear implants were a concern. Just remember that these hiccups will make for a great story one day!

5. Don’t be afraid to request help. Two of the best decisions were to ask my dad to come with us and to request wheelchair assistance from the airlines. An extra set of hands is invaluable. Having an escort and wheelchair to help us navigate a large airport and get Luke from Point A to Point B was such a lifesaver, especially when our gate was changed last minute.

6. It’s okay to grieve, but then appreciate what you have. I often miss our old life. The easy, “perfect” life. The life where we didn’t have to plan everything, the life with no meltdowns, the life without communication frustrations, the life before specialists and therapies, the life where money was abundant and life was fun. These thoughts often crop up when traveling for a medical appointment. I compare the life I am living to the life I used to live. But wake up Buttercup! Don’t miss the beauty and purpose of your current life. Others are watching. Your child needs you. Rise up. (Preaching to myself here.)

7. Brave is what you do and brave is who you are. Never forget this. There are so many unknowns and so many questions to answer. If your child isn’t getting the medical care they need or deserve, you need to look elsewhere. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s expensive. But getting on that plane to see a new provider may be the very thing your child needs to begin his journey to healing.

8. Practice Gratitude. We can find many things (big and small) to be thankful for every single day. Diligently look for them. The trampoline in the doctor’s waiting area was definitely one of them!

9. Seek the advice of others. I suggest seeking advice from others who have been there done that (BTDT). The special needs moms you trust and align with in vision. The ones that are have been on the journey longer. The ones who have traveled with their special kiddos. These moms have great insight and are usually willing to share their wisdom.

10. Give yourself grace. You are doing the best you can and you are doing better than you think! You feel as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. But dear, it’s not for you to bare alone. Remember to practice small ways of self-care, even when traveling.

-Jo Anna

Cochlear Implant Surgery Picture Diary

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Pre-Op Photo with Dr. Adele Evans at Brenner's Children's Hospital

Post-Surgery Picture (tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, simultaneous cochlear implants)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012 (1 day post-surgery after a rough first night)

Going Home! Afternoon of Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Happy to be at home!

3 days post-surgery: Friday, September 21, 2012

Monday results and the road ahead

This day has been in the making for close to a year. On July 29th, 2011, our family stepped out in faith to inquire about 2 brothers available for adoption from the Philippines--being told that the little one has some degree of hearing loss. Some 10 months later, our sons sons arrived home to join their forever family.

We meet on Monday afternoon to hear the results of Luke's MRI and CAT scan that were done on August 25th. During this appointment we will find out whether Luke is a candidate for cochlear implant surgery.

Luke's ABR hearing test on August 25th showed the same results as the one done in the Philippines in September 2011. It confirmed that Luke's hearing is estimated to be in the profound hearing loss range bilaterally. All other preliminary tests and evaluations have already been performed, so we are cautiously optimistic that we will be able to implant within the next 4-6 weeks.

We have such a long road ahead of us regardless of the path before us. On Tuesday, Luke will be fitted with loaner hearing aids for a trial period. It will be interesting to see if we get any response whatsoever from them. How will he react to something on his ears?! After all, he is only 2 & 1/2 years old...

Our family continues to be grateful and humbled by the love and support we receive by the body of believers both near and far.

Our prayer for Luke has been John 9:3"...but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

Keep watch for an update on our appointment!

Jo Anna

Cutting for a Cause - Follow Up

On January 15th, 2012 friends of ours at Progressive Image Day Salon held an adoption fund raiser for us called Cutting for a Cause. We made $1500 towards our adoption costs from 2-6pm that day.

Debbie Jones (co-owner of the salon) had asked to change their usual partial ad in Forsyth Woman magazine for their business to include a promo for CFAC. The editor found our story so compelling that they chose to give us a full ad that described our adoption story in great detail, along with Progressive Image's efforts to assist. We were so honored...and somewhat embarassed by the exposure. BUT, God used this to bring folks in the door for the event that would not have otherwise, and He connected us with new friends and resources.

Fast forward to the beginning of June...
We had been home with our boys for about a month (arriving here on May 8th). Carolyn Peterson from FW contacted us about a follow up. Jo Anna did an outstanding job explaining in further detail our story and they included some wonderful pictures of our new family. Here is the link to this month's issue. Our story is on their page 46. http://www.forsythmags.com/backoffice/Web%20Pdfs/07-12WEBpdfs/FF07-12Book.pdf

We have been blessed to adopt, though you may say the boys have been blessed to be a part of our family. Jo Anna and I were called to adopt, after we had been adopted into God the Father's family through His Son, Jesus Christ, sealed with the Holy Spirit unto eternal life. As my lovely wife said in the article, not everyone is called to do so. BUT, if you are a Christ-follower you have an obligation to do something. I personally feel honored to be a part of the Together for Adoption organization, involved with exhibitor planning and on-site coordination for the conferences. "We believe the theology of Adoption is transformative on so many levels: for the Church, for churches, for Christian experience, and for mobilizing and empowering long-term engagement in the global orphan crisis." Our national conference is coming up this September 14th and 15th at Cross Pointe Church in Atlanta, GA. If you want to learn more about how you can get involved, this is an excellent place to learn how you can do so. Or, maybe you are feeling the 'tug' to adopt or be engaged in foster care - I can't think of a better place for you to be that weekend. Visit the website by clicking on my first badge on the left for more details. Thank you for partnering with us as we are living in THE story!

Scott

Bringing L and J Home...FOR GOOD!

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Today YOU have a unique opportunity. Two precious young boys, J and L are waiting for a forever family...specifically OURS. We were officially matched October 13th and the USCIS approved their visa applications on February 7^th (Scott’s birthday). The authorization to travel is expected in the next 6-8 weeks.

As you may already know from our original post, we are stepping out in faith to adopt these 2 little toddler boys (our girls are 9 and 11) with the younger having complete hearing loss. God has brought us this far, and He will not leave or forsake us...EVER. Jo Anna is possibly not returning to work in any substantial way...any time soon. In addition, L's medical bills alone will be impacting the family budget. Currently, we are confident that we can provide for our soon-to-be family of 6, but the initial costs are immense. This is where you come in. You get to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. You get to be a part of a story and get to help unite a family with their little boys. L and J are about to be orphans no more. Please help us so we can travel without having to worry about funds.

In celebration and in an effort to raise the funds for this trip we're offering a chance for your very own iPad!

Here's how it works. A fellow adoptive family was kind enough to donate a brand new iPad because they understand the financial strains put a family that chooses to adopt (in our case, 2 children at once). There is a helping others paypal donate button on my blog in the upper left hand corner. You can donate there by Paypal or credit card.

Donate $25 for 1 opportunity for the giveaway.  You may choose to donate more than once. ***DEAL: 2 opportunities for a $40 donation! Also, If you believe in what we are doing please consider spreading the word:

1. Repost on your blog or Facebook.
2. Tell others via email and other media.

We believe this will be our last fund raiser, with the goal of finishing off the purchase of airfare (2 adults and 2 children). Cutting for a Cause contributions made up the difference for this and accommodations. Entries will be numbered in order of donation receipt (displayed on blog) and the giveaway will be random.



The fine print disclaimer. In order for this FUNdraiser to happen we must raise at least $3000 for it to be ON! We need just 120 folks at $25 each to do this. We will announce when we hit that point and once we do, the giveaway will end 7 days later. This is NOT a r-a-f-f-l-e, please do not mention that it is. This IS helping to bring children into their forever family!

Providential Provision

Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."

As we were so eloquently reminded this Sunday at Salem Chapel by substitute-teacher and my friend Bill Ketner, the "new" commandment given to us by Jesus is just that...a commandment. John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” The Greek word used there is entole and speaks of "an order, command, charge, precept, or injunction" (via BibleStudyTools.com Greek Lexicon). Hmm. Sooo, in other words we don't have a choice? Correct. Have I always abided by that "rule"? Nope...no way. BUT, by God, I should. Jesus Christ came to earth, lived a sinless life, and paid the price for my sins (and yours as well, if you call upon his name - John 3:16) and rose again on the third day. God so loved the world...so loved me, that I ought to love others. Just. Like. He. Did. I appreciate the chorus that the worship band sang near the end yesterday: " Oh, praise the One/Who paid my debt/And raised this life up from the dead." He deserves my unending devotion...that which I fail to do, but strive to otherwise. Part of that is to obey His command to love, just like Jesus did and still does today (love us).

Now step forward to the reason for my post -- and backward (huh?) to the verse at the top -- God's provision. One of the "names" of God is Jehovah Jireh (English translation, if you will): The LORD will provide (Genesis 22:14). Just as He did for Abraham by supplying the substitute for Isaac with the ram, He still provides for His own today. We re-evaluated our adoption financials today. Wow. Our God has already provided for us, His children for our future children by His calling. We have miraculously paid $18,405 of the anticipated minimum of $29,015 that the adoption of L and J will cost. Again I say WOW. All this is in addition and during some unexpected expenses such as a new air conditioner, car repairs, a spinal fusion surgery and 4 months living on short-term disability and a mission trip to Guatemala for our entire family. Amazing. But wait...there is more.

We still have around $10,610 to go. We don't have that much in the savings right now. We have -- being transparent here -- around half that. Yep. Now, remember we had a great poinsettia fund raiser that yielded $1200 and have 2 more events scheduled...a hair cutting event and an iPad give away. We are trusting that He will provide for us through people like you -- our family and friends -- through these opportunities to partner with us in bringing our boys home. Trust. Webster's defines that word as the "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." We know what our God is capable of....we just need to believe it despite the circumstances. We must actually have faith that Jehovah will provide. After all, He loved us enough to send His Son. I am reminded of His command to love, just like Jesus did and still does today (love US). "...(our) God will meet all (our) needs..."

We have found our home/We have found our peace/We have found our rest/In the one who loves/He will light the way/He will lead us home/As we offer all/To the One who saves us...Forever His love endures/Forever and EVER! - The One Who Saves by Hillsong/Ben Fielding

Scott

Cutting for a Cause Event and Adoption Update

Happy New Year!

Progressive Image Day Salon and Day Spa in Winston-Salem is sponsoring "Cutting for a Cause" as another means of assisting us with the remaining funds needed for L and J's adoption. For a minimum donation of $15 you will receive a shampoo and haircut by one of their professional stylists. They are located at 3538 Vest Mill Road, 27103. and the phone number is 336-760-1292. The event will take place on Sunday, January 15th from 2-6. Please contact the salon for more details. We hope to see you there!

Thanks to USCIS (said with irony), we now have until February 5, 2012 to submit a new home study update in order for the boys' visas to be processed! This is mainly due to L being classified as "special needs" due to his severe hearing loss. Our new home study must show the resources available to us and ways in which we will specifically parent these two little boys. Of course, not only is there now increased expenses for the home study update and the $350 processing fee to USCIS, but it also delays our travel to bring the boys home from the Philippines. Please pray that things move quickly and that we will be approved upon submission.

Jo Anna

Cutting for a Cause

Lord of all the earth/we shout your name, shout your name/filling up the skies with endless praise, endless praise/Yahweh, Yahweh...we love to shout your name, Oh Lord!    

- excerpt from "At Your Name" by Phil Wickham

We are human. Yep. I know this is a surprise. I hope you were sitting down for that one. We get discouraged...we get beat down (especially by a certain employer who will remain nameless, though it might sound kind of like Beavis)...and we get exhausted, especially in the adoption process.

All kidding aside, we are in awe over the way God has blessed us in regards to the adoption -- in His time, in His way -- and the event announcement below is another example of that. We had a successful poinsettia sale, raising nearly $1,200! For that we praise He from whom all blessings flow. That leaves us with around $3k to travel. For that, we also praise Him. Why? Jesus Christ gave everything for me -- for you -- on the cross, why would I believe He is going to abandon us now? I don't. His grace is greater than any problem I have, and He loves me like I am His own...because God adopted me into His family in 1994. Please check this out...

Progressive Image Day Salon and Day Spa in Winston-Salem is sponsoring "Cutting for a Cause" an another means of assisting us with the remaining funds. For a minimum donation of $15 you will receive a shampoo and haircut by one of their professional stylists. They are located at 3538 Vest Mill Road, 27103. and the phone number is 336-760-1292. The event will take place on Sunday, January 15th from 2-6. Please contact the salon for more details and to schedule an appointment. Walk-ins are welcome, however. We hope to see you there!

The Crawfords

Christmas in...October??? (Adoption Fund Raiser)

(UPDATED)
We have been an approved prospective adoptive family by the Inter Country Adoption Board of the Philippines since February 2010 and now are officially matched to bring home our 2 sons!  In August 2011, we were notified of the brothers newly listed to the Special Home Finding List. Their ages are 3 years and 20 months old. We have recently learned that the younger brother has severe to profound hearing loss. We are stepping out in faith to adopt these two special little boys. We hope to travel in early 2012.

Adoption can be very expensive! We have currently paid over $7500. In addition, we anticipate needing over $19,000 for fees, expenses, and travel within the next 3 months. We are approximately $5000 short of our immediate need.

We are asking you to partner with us and help with our adoption expenses by purchasing 1 or more poinsettias for this holiday season. We are willing to deliver to western Triad (Winston-Salem and surrounding) area.

FAQs:
When do I need to have the order in by? Initial order - by Friday, November 5th. ^^^^We can and will take more orders after this date (this was to the be the largest delivery)
When can I expect to receive them? Tentatively the week of December 5th (contact us if you need them earlier)
How big are they? Cannot give a specific size - LARGE, select plants in 7 1/2" pots with 6-8 'blooms'.
How much are they? $15 per plant.
Can I get a specific color? Yes - email us for details.
When do I pay? Upon receipt/delivery.

***If you are not local, would you be interested in making a purchase for a local nursing home, assisted living or other organization?  If so, please pre-order by emailing Scott  at wreckedforgood@gmail.com. Be sure to include your contact information.

Thank you for your consideration in coming alongside our family and helping us bring our sons home! Feel free to contact us at 336-945-6010, text Scott at 724-816-2797 or our adoption agency with any questions: Christian Adoption Services in Matthews, NC at 704-847-0038.

Scott

Our Adoption Story

For our 10 year wedding anniversary (May 2007), Scott gave me the option of a piece of jewelry or for us to go on the Christian MusicBoat Cruise from Miami to Jamaica. I chose the cruise. That spring, I began to be interested in researching foster care and adoption. I really didn't know why I was so intrigued by it. But he kept putting people and situations in my path that involved those 2 topics. The topper was on the cruise when David Nasser preached from Isaiah 6. The title of his sermon was "God wants to ruin your life." Well, it was there that God told me (not in an audible voice) "I want you to adopt." In my spoiled, sinful state, I didn't like that proclamation very much. In fact, I wrestled with God the rest of that trip. I was MISERABLE. Scott didn't know why. I wouldn't tell him. Our trip pretty much sucked thanks to me. I just prayed that if this was in fact from the Lord, that Scott would also come to that same conclusion. I wouldn't push him. In fact, I prayed privately about this for about 6 months before I even mentioned the subject of adoption to Scott.  At first, he thought I was crazy. But I asked if he would pray about it. He said yes. We began praying about it as a family as well. Of course, the girls were onboard from the getgo.

              On Monday, Jan 12, 2009 Scott called me right before I went into my BSF leadership meeting. He told me he believed God has called us to adopt, he was onboard, and let's started! I was so happy. Deep down, I never even thought we would get to this point. I knew it was God. Just a few days earlier, I had learned about an adoption information expo that was going to happen at a local church. I asked Scott if we wanted to go to the "Hands of Hope" Adoption expo that weekend. He said yes. It was there that we began our process together.

              When we received the initial info on S (SHF listing) in Jan 2010, everything looked good. Even though I believed  the Lord had called us to brothers, I really thought "S was the one". It was only after we asked additional questions and received the email (through ICAB) from the foster mother in February 2010 that the Lord made it very clear in several ways of confirmation that S was NOT the one.

              Ever since then, we have prayed for clear confirmation from the Lord. Some sort of connection or something to confirm to us who our children are. Ok, here's what I believe is the connection: The date of the adoption expo was January 17, 2009. The date of the social worker's first visit to J's home was January 17, 2009. L of course wouldn't even be born for another year. When I read through their cases again the other night, the Lord reminded me of that date. I went through our adoption paperwork and found a bulletin from that expo. Although I may be crazy, I believe the Lord showed me that as confirmation that he planned for J and L to be in our family. To me, that is no coincidence.

              I know that God's plans are not our plans. I truly hope that I am not going to be disappointed again by unfulfilled expectations. I pray that we are in the center of God's will and that the Lord continues to confirm.  Isaiah 30 says ²⁰ Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. ²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Jo Anna