When you know that you know that you know...

Alternate title: God Wants To Ruin Your Life

As we are quickly approaching our one year mark of having the boys in our family, I feel compelled to tell our story of how the Lord led us specifically to these little boys. God works in big ways and small ways, in loud booms and in quiet whispers. Each family's journey is unique. L and J's referral picture was taken in July 2011.

When we have our "hard days" with our kids from "hard places", it helps us to know that God has directed our path to these boys. It is His Story. That gives us confidence and comfort in knowing that He knows the outcome and He is with us each step of the way. We pray that this story encourages you as much as it does us. This was written in August 2011, just a few days after receiving our boys' information.

For our 10 year wedding anniversary (May 2007), Scott gave me the option of a piece of jewelry or for us to go on the Christian MusicBoat Cruise from Miami to Jamaica. I chose the cruise. That spring, I began to be interested in researching foster care and adoption. I really didn't know why I was so intrigued by it. But God kept putting people and situations in my path that involved those 2 topics. The topper was on the cruise when David Nasser preached from Isaiah 6. The title of his sermon was "God wants to ruin your life." Well, it was there that God told me (not in an audible voice) "I want you to adopt." I "saw" a vision of two little boys of latino or filipino heritage? In my spoiled, sinful state, I didn't like that proclamation very much. In fact, I wrestled with God the rest of that trip. I was MISERABLE. Scott didn't know why. I wouldn't tell him. Our trip pretty much sucked thanks to me. I just prayed that if this was in fact from the Lord, that Scott would also come to that same conclusion. I wouldn't push him. In fact, I prayed privately about this for about 6 months before I even mentioned the subject of adoption to Scott. At first, he thought I was crazy. But I asked if he would pray about it. He said yes. We began praying about it as a family as well. Of course, the girls were onboard from the get-go.

On Monday, Jan 12, 2009 Scott called me right before I went into my BSF leadership meeting. He told me he believed God has called us to adopt, he was onboard, and let's started! I was so happy. Deep down, I never even thought we would get to this point. I knew it was God. Just a few days earlier, I had learned about an adoption information expo that was going to happen at a local church. I asked Scott if we wanted to go to the "Hands of Hope" Adoption expo that weekend. He said yes. It was there that we began our process together.

When we received the initial info on Samuel (SHF listing) in Jan 2010, everything looked good. Even though I believed the Lord had called us to brothers, I really thought "Samuel was the one". It was only after we asked additional questions and received the email (through ICAB) from the foster mother in February 2010 that the Lord made it very clear in several ways of confirmation that Samuel was NOT the one.

Ever since then, we have prayed for clear confirmation from the Lord. Some sort of connection or something to confirm to us who our children are. Here's what I believe is the connection: The date of the adoption expo was January 17, 2009. The date of the social worker's first visit to Jansen's home was January 17, 2009. Luke of course wouldn't even be born for another year. When I read through their cases again the other night, the Lord reminded me of that date. I went through our adoption paperwork and found a bulletin from that expo. Although I may be crazy, I believe the Lord showed me that as confirmation that he planned for Jansen and Luke to be in our family. To me, that is no coincidence.

I know that God's plans are not our plans. I truly hope that I am not going to be disappointed again by unfulfilled expectations. I pray that we are in the center of God's will and that the Lord continues to confirm. Isaiah 30 says 20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Jo Anna